Simply put, creating theatre and learning about healthy sexuality have lit up my world, therein have impacted the world that I live, breath, and interact in daily. The more I delve in to both of these passions and share them with others, the more I change the world for the better... in my empowered opinion. 

Biking home this evening from Crazy for You, a Musical theatre show that most of my students have been working on for the whole year, I was crying from tears of joy. Seriously, just sobbing, dripping down my cheeks. These students are my new heroes. I am also my own hero. We are all fucking heroes! I am a person who has created these amazing connections with these humans and I was privileged enough to share in their moments tonight and everyday since I met them. I am proud of who I am that they are vulnerable to me. I am astonished how vulnerable they are to me. I am proud of who I am that they are excited for me to see their glory in the lights. That it means something to us all. I am proud of these young heroes that are tackling this society through their humanness on stage and off stage. I get to not only see there shiny smiles singing a song on stage, I get to hear their burning questions on healthy consent. I get to hear their voices sing songs about love and I get to see their stresses when one of their peers are hurting from an abusive relationship. I get to be a part it all! All of the human. All of the joy. All of the sorrow. All.  

Why do you go see theatre? Or if you are lucky enough to be a practitioner of theatre, what makes you smile during the process? Why on opening night, there is nothing more important in the world? How did these words light up our world? We are all actively partaking in roles where we explore the human condition, human connection. We are basking in the conversations that need to be had. The moments that need to be laughed through. The situations that need to be critically thought about. All of this in a relatively safe space. The theatre is a place where people from all walks of life come together for a moment that will only exist in that moment. Each performance is unique and alive. It is breathing human meditation, together. Someone (most likely me) will laugh with exuberance in a moment that will never be the same again. Someone could cry at only a line they understand in a certain story, a certain way. This creates magic between us all. A bond rarely achieved in a public safe space, together. This can heal the world. Whatever side we are on, the audience or the stage, we can heal each other. One performance at a time. 

I am drenched in your happiness. Because it is mine too.

Now, onto the healthy sexuality portion. Healthy human sexuality can save the world! Since constantly researching human sexuality and expressing my erotic self for the past eight years, this passion has thrown the relationship with myself, my relationship with others and my community for a new, vast, exciting loop! I am not just talking about "safer sex", I am talking about the entire complexity of human sexuality. I am talking about vulnerability. I am talking about self pleasure. I am talking about body image. I am talking about media literacy. I am talking about everything. And I want you all to join the conversation. In my program, Healthy Humans, critical thinking for positive living (the one I am currently teaching in Victoria), we tackle all the topics of being a human, being a healthy sexual human. A healthy sexual human that connects and relates with other healthy sexual humans.

Everything we do in this world contains our sexual selves. We clothe ourselves to foster connection. We shake our booty to express our desires. We write an essay to showcase our intelligence. We find hobbies, passions, interests to enrich our existence. Wouldn't it be fucking cool if we all had a stunning understanding of who we really were, how we really presented ourselves, what media we had to critically think about, and why we needed closeness to others? Now... maybe we all think we have this figured out or at least it is not a burning question in our hearts or bodies. There is indeed a guideline presented to us, perhaps even shoved down our throats since birth, that could get us to one understanding of healthy human sexuality. But one understanding of sexuality doesn't cut it for seven billion humans. So there in lies my passion. I want to see seven billion ways of desire, connection, sexuality, expression. If we can truly have a healthy understanding of ourselves, then share that with others, wouldn't this world heal? Wouldn't we share our abundance? Wouldn't we lift each other up? Wouldn't we be shoulders to cry on? Wouldn't we see ourselves in others?  

Now, let's throw these two passions together. Voila! Here we go! It is happening! My whole world is charged, changed, challenged, and yes, even healing. I truly hope I can support others in their journey of healing. Will you walk forward with me?

Intrinsically in Love,

Tanille 

Along my way to becoming me, Tanille, in this moment (one who is pictured nude occasionally) has been asked today, "If you are so passionate about helping people in that way, why do you have to do it with your clothes off?" This is from a person that is worried about my future, and that because I am an erotic artist, community sexuality activist, and teacher, that in these methods of helping the world, that I am destroying my future employment and the future of my unborn children by being nude in photos.

Really? While I won't attack the reason that this person is worried for my well being, these concerns of mine don't exist. So, yes, I won't be able to work at certain places in mainstream society because I have decided to focus my art, work, and life around healthy human sexuality. But isn't that the reason I should be fighting this fight? I am a wonderful hardworking person and just because I have some chosen nude photographs of myself on the internet or in my book, shouldn't I also be allowed to apply my skills as a human in anyway for society if I am actually qualified for that position? I think so. And this is why I will continue to act and practice as this is the way the world is, because you know, that is the way I wish the world was. And, yes, I will probably at some point have really interesting, hard, and in depth conversations with my unborn children at many times in their life. But won't it be totally awesome to have a mom who doesn't act or feel shame around their body and sexuality? Won't that be a more positive impact rather than a negative one? If I start talking to them about the need of self pleasure, consent, and positive sexuality at early ages, won't that help prepare them to have conversations with friends, family, and chosen partners one day? I truly believe so. 

Now, to answer the question,  "If you are so passionate about helping people in that way, why do you have to do it with your clothes off?"

photo by: Chena San Martin

Well, there isn't just one answer. There isn't just, "Oh, I decided to get nude in front of a camera one night." No, these decisions to continually be expressive in the nude in front of a camera is a well thought out and felt out decision. Here are some of the reasons, I MUST take off my clothes in order to be myself and help people.

1) I love my body. I have no shame around my body. I am an "unconventional" body and I want to share that love with people so perhaps they too can see themselves within me, and be more comfortable in their own bodies.

2) It is political. I chose to do it. Yes, I am female and I made the choice for myself to express myself this way artistically.  And I really enjoy it. I have political body hair choices too. Armpit hair, leg hair, and yes, pubic hair. I feel the most beautiful when I am hairy and natural.  I want to challenge the media norms around body hair. I do not support photo-shopping my body. While my art partner does Photoshop images (say for example replicating thousands of Brussels Sprouts), I am clear that I don't want my shape edited. I don't want my colouring edited. Although, I did get in shit for having a sunburn one photo-shoot. Haha... But, burn and all, it went into the photos. Because this is who I am and I want an un-edited version of myself everywhere. 

3) One of the best ways to help people feel comfortable around me is to be vulnerable first. I want to be vulnerable to you all. I want to share my outside looks and inside feels so that we have a better chance to connect with one another. It has proven time and time again to be successful. 

4) I am a nudist. If you get to spend any real time around me, either socially at wreck breach or as an intimate lover, most people would notice that I am happier and I more comfortable when I am nude. I feel joy and free when I am naked. Why else would I think up of an idea for a nude yoga photo shoot for myself? Not many humans, let alone woman who are "unconventional looking" would ever want to see and feel their body naked in yoga shapes. I do. 

5) It is fun! Being nude and getting photographed how you desire is fucking fun! Have you done a boudoir shoot before? Well, I highly recommend it. 

Yes, I can help people with their sexual health with keeping my clothes on, but for the 5 reasons listed above and all the other thousands of meanings behind photos, I say that I help people more with my clothes off. Wouldn't you agree?

With Intrinsic Love,

Tanille